Love, Sex, and Intimacy

In the opening pages of her latest book, Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want, the esteemed relationship expert Alexandra Solomon, Ph.D. quotes Neale Donald Walsch, one of her favorite spiritual teachers: “There are only two energies at the core of human experience: love and fear.” She then explores this dichotomy throughout the book, urging an understanding and experience of your own sexuality not from the “outside-in” but from the “inside-out.” She summarizes her case: “The journey toward greater sexual self-awareness is about moving away from fear and toward love. When sex is shrouded in fear, shame, pain, misinformation, and silence flourish. When sex is infused with love, healthy boundaries, mutuality, respect, and pleasure flourish.” Taking Sexy Back offers a powerful and holistic approach to help you reclaim your sexuality, communicate your desires, draw boundaries, be safe, and build satisfying relationships.

Dr. Solomon is a Clinical Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University, a lecturer in NU’s School of Education and Social Policy, a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, and is on faculty at The Omega Institute. She teaches the internationally renowned NU undergraduate course, “Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101.” Dr. Solomon is a highly sought-after speaker who works with groups like the United States Military Academy at West Point, Microsoft, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. She is frequently asked to talk about love, sex, and marriage for media outlets like O, The Oprah Magazine, The Atlantic, Vogue, NPR, and Scientific American.

Dr. Solomon will be interviewed by her colleague Eli Finkel, Ph.D. (FAN ’17), author of the best-selling book The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work. Prof. Finkel has appointments in the psychology department and the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University. In his role as director of Northwestern’s Relationships and Motivation Lab (RAMLAB), he has published ~150 scientific papers and is a contributor to the Op-Ed page of The New York Times. The Economist has identified him as “one of the leading lights in the realm of relationship psychology.”

Program note: FAN welcomes back superstar DJ Jeff Pazen, who will program pre- and post-event music. With deep roots in the city’s alternative and punk rock scene, Jeff was one of Chicago’s most prominent underground club DJ’s from the early 80s into the late 90s. His musical influences cover a range of genres spanning new wave, punk, and ska, with heavy doses of industrial dance music, early techno, grunge and indie rock, hip-hop, and, naturally, Chicago house.